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24 October 2020 @ 08:20 pm

Just comment to be added!

Who am I?

Well, my profile says a lot about me, but aside from that...

My father is in the army and we move around a lot because he keeps changing jobs. I have never lived anywhere aside from the east side of Australia though.

I don't make friends very easily, so I spend a lot of time on my own.

Only my most recent entries are public. After a few weeks I make them Friends Only. That way you get a glimpse of what you're signing up for, and I get to know who's stalking me!

31 January 2014 @ 01:59 pm
What I’ve been up to:
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Rocky Horror on stage
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My progress
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Self Confidence
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The End.

Mood: boredbored
Music: Mr Brightside - The Killers
There are a lot of sad people in the world. It can be tough to feel that no one really cares about you or wants to spend time with you. Or that you aren’t talented at anything, can’t do anything right, and are just an all around worthless person. I know, I’m one of those people.

Sometimes even when you do something that used to make you happy, or go to an event that you have really been looking forward to, or actually achieve something, it’s so overshadowed by all those negative things that as much as you try you just don’t enjoy yourself like other people do, or as you once would have.

And when you get advice, whether it’s from strangers on the internet or one of those ’10 Steps to Being A Happier Person’ articles it’s all about what you’re doing WRONG. “DON’T worry about what other people think of you”, “STOP over thinking things”.

Okay, so that can SOUND like good advice, but how many of us can really control our thoughts like that? Are YOU able to just switch off that voice in your head that is bringing you down? If it were as simple as that then why doesn’t everyone just do it? Easy fixed!

I don’t know about you, but hearing things like that just make me feel worse. And they don’t really work when it’s not just your own mind trying to bring you down. Maybe your poor sales figures, or an abusive parent, or a lack of communication from friends, or little success in your life, or other physical factors are fighting beside that voice in your head, backing up everything that it says.

So instead, here’s a list of things that you can actively DO to try to make yourself a happier person. They won’t automatically fix everything, but they could help give you strength while you fight your way to really meaning that smile you’ve plastered across your face.

1. Redecorate. Reorganise your things. Move all your favourite books or DVDs to the forefront. Buy a different scented candle or air freshener. Rearrange your furniture. Get different curtains. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just different. It’s a new start. Make it look different to that room full of sadness you see in your memory.

2. Make a Happy playlist. Fill it with songs that touch you, that make you FEEL, that make you smile (even if it’s just on the inside) or even songs that just make you FEEL like smiling. Any songs that make you want to dance, that remind you of the good times. Hell, add the pokemon theme song to it if you want!

3. Keep those little things close. If you see a clip on youtube that amuses you, whether it’s The Hobbit cosplayers singing about their long beautiful hair, or a clip of kitten, or someone’s deep reflection on the way the street light outside their bedroom window casts it’s glow on the street below, then bookmark it. Watch it over and over again. Or if you see a picture, the cover of a book, a photo of that street light, save it. Look at it. Print out that inspirational quote. If you hear a good joke, write it down. Review. If it makes you feel good don’t let it just float away, give yourself something to hold onto so that you can relive that moment. If it stops making you happy, if it begins to make you feel bad, get rid of it. Find something new to replace it. Compile it in a scrap book, or keep it in a plastic sleeve, or just loose in your bottom drawer, or hide it around your room so you will be cheered up when you randomly find it one day.

4. Exercise. It doesn’t have to be much, it doesn’t have to be often, it doesn’t have to be for the fitness. Go for a walk, go for a run, take your bike out. CHOOSE to be alone for just half an hour or so. Focus on keeping your eyes on the road, or the beat of your steps. Pretend you’re trying to escape from zombies. Just GO until YOU feel like stopping. YOU are in control of your body. Savour that.

5. Dream. Okay, this one is a little more wishy-washy. Imagine you’re a famous person being interviewed on a talk show. Imagine that you have your dream job. Imagine you’re married with kids living in a cottage in the country. Imagine a life where you are happy. Envision the story that got you there. Then pursue it. Go to that audition. Hand in your resume. Smile at that handsome stranger. It may turn out awful. It may turn out wonderful. If you fail, try again. If you chicken out, that’s okay, there’ll be other opportunities.

Because there IS beauty in the world, and you CAN be a part of that. Just do your best. Keep trying.

Oh, and one last thing...and this is the only DON’T you will hear me say: DON’T give up.

06 May 2013 @ 02:54 pm
I am really considering leaving livejournal. I mean, I wouldn’t close my account, I’d just never log into it ever again and leave it here as an archive sort of thing. I’m just not here very often anymore. During my long absences from livejournal y’all welcome to add me on twitter or tumblr.

Now it’s time to play catch up.

You may recall last entry I mentioned winning best short story in my state in a competition I entered. Well, they've posted all the winning entries in a difficult to find spot online. I doubt anyone has actually seen it.

All round there has been no improvement in any aspect of my life. Dad is meant to start work on Wednesday though, so I may finally get some time alone. And hopefully the house won't smell so bad of body odour...


I don't know what else there is to say.


Link of the Day
Mood: depresseddepressed
Music: Underneath the Radar - Underworld
05 April 2013 @ 05:45 pm
Still no change. I'm getting even less hours at work than before (I can't even remember the last time I got called to fill in a shift).

I did win best short story in my state in the Supanova writing competition I entered, and originally they were going to compile all the winning stories into a book but the publisher closed down. I still get two free tickets to Supanova in the city of my choice though.

I still haven't made any friends in this city, nor do I hear from any of my old friends elsewhere, except from the occasional letter from one who with each letter seems increasingly intent on converting me into a Jehovah's Witness.

My parents do not get along. I do not expect this to change - it's been like this for as long as I can remember, so why would I expect their marriage to change now?

I'm still working my way though a pile of (mostly good) books. 90% of my initial list has now been read, though two books on the list are actually collections of series and may take a little longer than usual to get through...

But overall things have not become any worse, which is a good sign.

31 January 2013 @ 11:22 am
Sorry it’s been a while folks! It’s been a bit of a busy period recently. After NaNoWriMo (which I completed once again and though I have yet to actually finish the story I think it has come together better than previous years) there was Christmas, and I worked for the first time! I even had a midnight to 8am shift (then came back in for a 6 to 9 shift to cover for someone, with only two hours sleep the night before!) and though it was chaotic and to be perfectly honest I thought some of the stuff we were selling were a little on the dodgy side, overall I loved it.

Then we moved house at the start of January, were without internet for a while, and I was rather avoiding using the family computer so that I could not be blamed for all the problems it seems to be having (ie, from viruses from all the porn sites dad visits) but now we’ve got it hooked to a brand new computer (not dad’s old one with him taking the new one, the new computer is actually now the family computer) which has Windows 8 so we’ll never be buddies, but has no problem with speed.

My rostered hours haven’t improved (though I usually manage to get a few extra hours each week when people call in sick or whatnot) but when the Assistant Manager and one of the Acting Managers got flooded in earlier this week, the Manager was on leave, and the other Acting Manager was only able to work until 12.30, my 12 to 4 shift turned into an “all on my own from 12 until close” shift. I had never done all the close on my own before (the tills, banking, EOD, etc), and the Assistant Manager called up a few times to check up and let me know she was just a phone call away, but the only thing that I really had my any trouble was locking one side of the door!

My parents and the whole general situation haven’t improved, but I’m trying not to think about that. I want to focus on the positives because at the moment I’m feeling very discontent with my life and about things that I have no control over so I need to settle my mood before I face all the negatives or it’ll be too much for me. I don’t think I’ve cried in over a year and I want to keep that up.

I think that’s a pretty accurate summary of what I’ve been up to. How about everyone else?

Mood: anxiousanxious
Music: Master of the House – Les Miserables
07 December 2012 @ 11:54 am
I’m stilltrying to make my way through ‘Catch-22’ and ‘Pendragon’. I really want to move on to other books, but I feel like I’ve already invested so much time in them (‘Pendragon’ especially since it’s the fourth in a series) that I can’t give up half way though.

I went to the dentist earlier in the week, for the first time in over a decade. I need six fillings and a wisdom tooth out, but other than that my teeth are in good shape considering how long it’s been. It’s going to cost me almost $2000, but my dental insurance kicks in in two months so if they don’t get any worse before then it’ll only be taking the wisdom tooth out that I’ll have to pay for.

And that's about it for now really.

Tags: ,
Mood: boredbored
27 November 2012 @ 02:30 pm
So, I bought three more books yesterday. One by Diana Wynne Jones (my favourite author), one by Catherine Jinks (my #2 favourite female author), and one by James Moloney which my sister had to read for school and I borrowed from her to read (though this one she actually read too!).

But in other news, yesterday I got a call to switch shifts with someone, which meant that I would be working two hours less, but which looks like it may actually work in my favour after all because I woke up in the middle of the night last night feeling like complete crap and now I have a cold. But I’m not working tomorrow like I was originally meant to, so I have two days to get over it, and then even if I’m not completely better I’ll only have a 3 hour shift on Friday morning, then the rest of the day to recuperate before I work on the weekend.

I hate colds.

So this might not be a very fun week. However, on the bright side, I don’t sleep much when I’m sick so I should get a bit of reading done!

I’m less than 3000 words from finishing NaNoWriMo, and if I can get through this bugger of a scene that I’m currently writing then it should be smooth sailing to the finish line.

Mood: sicksick
23 November 2012 @ 04:50 pm
I have read 75 books so far this year (and am currently reading 3 others) so I thought I might write a bit about a few of them.

For instance, at the moment I’m reading ‘Catch-22’ by Joseph Heller, which I’m finding it difficult to get through. It’s just not holding my interest and doesn’t seem to flow. I know a lot of people think it’s a really good book, so I want to give it a go, but at the moment it’s not holding my interest at all.

A few other books that I have found quite disappointing (and was not able to get through) are ‘Parrot and Olivier in America’ by Peter Carey (I loved ‘Wrong About Japan’ though), ‘Loser’s Town’ by Daniel Depp, ‘The Dracula Dossier’ by James Reese (which I had actually really been looking forward to reading because it sounded amazing), ‘War of the Worlds’ by H.G Wells, and ‘Frankenstein’ by Mary Shelly (‘The Casebook of Victor Frankenstein’ by Peter Ackroyd jumped straight to one of my favourite books the moment I read it however, so I was actually quite surprised I was only able to get halfway through ‘Frankenstein’ and decided to keep it on my shelf to try and reread sometime in the future).

On the other side of things, some books that I really enjoyed this year are ‘The Hunger Games’ by Suzanne Collins (which wasn’t originally on my list of books to read but after starting the first book I dropped everything else I was reading to read the rest), ‘Jack Cloudie’ by Stephen Hunt, and some of the ‘Skulduggery Pleasant’ series by Derek Landy (some because two new books have come out since then, one of which is further down my list and the other I’m waiting to come out in a trade paperback so it will fit on the same shelf). And we mustn’t forget any of the books by Diana Wynne Jones, my favourite author.

That might not be many books, but I also reread some books I’d first read when I was younger and loved them just as much or perhaps even more such as ‘Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You’ by Peter Cameron, ‘Slow Burn’ by Victor Kelleher (which I had rushed through on my first read because my sister needed to do an assignment on it and couldn’t be bothered reading it herself), and reread then finished the series of a few others, such as Catherine Jink’s ‘Evil Genius’ series, and Garth Nix’s ‘Keys to the Kingdom’ and I have one book left to read in Eoin Colfer’s ‘Artemis Fowl’ series, and one and a half left in Heather Brewer’s ‘Chronicles of Vladimir Tod’ (the last one of which I had to order in and am currently waiting for).

There are still another 90 odd books on my list but at this rate I should hopefully be able to say I have read every since book I own by the end of next year.

Provided I can restrain myself and not buy any more that is.


Quote of the Day: "It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it." ~Oscar Wilde
Mood: creativecreative
Music: Simple Song – Iwan Rheon
16 November 2012 @ 05:45 pm
I will get around to writing about what's been going on lately, but between dad being home, NaNoWriMo, Supanova, and work (which granted, was probably the least time consuming save for Supanova) I haven't really had much lazy time this month. Plus, I want to get everything that happen at Supanova down in my journal before I write about it anywhere else, or else I'll skip over bits or forget things or (like last time I went) just wind up forgetting to write about it at all and when I want to relive it I have no stimulus to remember.

Also, summer's here. I hate the heat. It makes me feel unproductive.

Location: Australia,
Mood: hothot
Music: Full Moon - Sonata Arctica